Blake Fielder-Civil and his mother Georgette talk candidly about Blake’s battle against drug addiction and his search for a new life in this YouTube Video.
Below is a transcript of the video interview with Blake Fielder-Civil and his mother Georgette.
Georgette: I’m actually terrified. I’m angry that he fell in love with her. I’m angry that the media crucified him. I’m angry because I’ve lost my home. Ya know.
Blake: I’ve got a self-destructive streak, I guess. You know, I don’t want what’s best for me. I want what’s worst for me. I want loads of it. I guess.
Georgette: We’ll have the methadone now.
Blake: You know I’m being recommended basically to inject heroin because it’s cheaper. So it’ll release the financial burden on my mom. I have to now, you know, pin up, which is completely the opposite of what I wanna do. ‘Cause it’s a much bigger buzz, it goes straight into your blood. And it’s much harder to get off it.
Georgette: I think, if I’m honest, I think it’ll always be a problem. He has to completely change his lifestyle, change his friends, change his thinking pattern. But I think temptation will always be there.
Blake: You know, that won’t really make a… that won’t affect me for 24 hours now. He said he’d put me on the 60 mls, but I said 50.
Georgette: Why 50?
Blake: Just a little less because I don’t wanna get too dependent on methadone, ’cause they won’t do me a quick detox.
Georgette: I think over this last 21 days, I see, for the first time I’ve lived with it and seen it on a daily basis and realized what I’m up against. And you know, the methadone to me, I think, I thought it was going to be a miracle cure and a quick cure. And I realize now it’s not.
Blake: Yeah, it’s a bit strange going up here again. I ain’t been up here for four years. Since you know, I had the altercation. But it’s been something I’ve wanted to do, I’ve wanted to come up here and just stand outside the pub and just see where I pissed away two years of my life.
Yeah, so this is it ha… that’s the place. Yeah. I probably shouldn’t be around here. This is where I was when just before I heard my mate getting into that fight. I was having a piss right here. I heard him shouting, run rounds, seen them fighting. Five seconds later, I’ve lost pretty much my life. I know that there are victims, I ain’t the victim, I know that. But, you know it’s such a pointless crime.
It was such a waste of time for everyone, a waste of freedom and a waste of potential. From 24 to 26, whenever I was in jail or 25 to 27 just for that. I don’t mean ‘just for that’ ’cause the fella was hurt, but I mean, for a fight… for a pub fight. I put it down to me losing my wife, me getting worse and worse on heroin ’cause I didn’t wanna accept I was leaving my wife, everything.’
The consequences were just devastating, really. I should have just stayed in and carried on pissing. It was a scuffle fight, it got really out of hand and I think I’ve payed my price, you know. I think I’ve payed my price for it. Since then, from then to now, I mean, I’ve ridden first class on aeroplanes and I fucking… tasted, you know, the cooking of the block.
Georgette: The only thing I can control in my life is the Hoover. It’s the one thing that doesn’t shout and does exactly where I want it to do and what I want it to do. So, the madhouse, I’m happy as long as I can vacuum and switch off. Sad really.
When he was supposed to be coming home for his home detention curfew, and they lead us to believe that he would be allowed home, but unbeknown to me at the time, the village had got together and had a secret meeting and they didn’t want him in the village.
Blake: I wasn’t, um… I’m not ready or wasn’t ready and never will be ready or comfortable with that type of lifestyle… where you’d just get thrown things. ‘Cause I would have been dead. I’d have been dead with that kind of money. But I did wanna provide for my family, and when it comes to that, I would do whatever it takes.’
Would I dress up in a cat suit and meow in front of half of the country like suppose MP’s, probably not, but I would do quite a lot to feed my brothers and make sure my mum was happy, and, to a lesser extent, my dad, ’cause he can look after himself. But I’d like to retain some of my dignity and that’s why I won’t necessarily go in a jungle or whatever… besides, nobody would want me in there now anyway, I’m not even remotely… ya know celebrity material… Thank God.’
Man: I’m absolutely sure you can get on it, Blake, if you wanted it.
Blake: I know all I can do is just reach for those stars and hopefully one day I’ll make it. Hopefully one day.
Man: Laughing – Is that a joke?
End of interview.